So what is Love, actually?

I begin this entry by sharing a quote that sum up both the pain and joys of life.

“The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.”
~John Vance Cheney

Isn’t it true, that there won’t be a meaning to happiness without experiencing heartache of some-sort? And likewise, a wounded heart would have nothing to look forward for without hope that no matter how bad a situation is that it would change, in a matter of time. Oh how dull life would be if you had lost such a faith!

Let’s face it, who haven’t been hurt? Everyone has, one or way or another, I’m sure. The degree of the pain however, may differ depending on graveness of the event one has to face. But who are we to judge? A thing that appear trivial to you could be the most important aspect in someone’s life. To each,their own.

And the irony of all these pandemic of pain is that it’s somehow connected to ‘Love’. From failing to get an object of love and desire, to losing that object to eternal loss or betrayal gnaw one’s soul so much that it blinds them (some momentarily, while others permanently) from seeing the future, from seeing any ray of hope in surviving it. Somehow, it would seem like the sky had crushed onto us.; that the world has ended and everything around us has vanished and we are left alone, wandering blindfolded, frantically searching for something solid to hold onto; something that would make us feel safe again, feel protected. Ever felt like that before?  Yea, I figured you would have.

The fact is, a part of us may have died when we get trials in life, but look at us? We are very much alive to continue on the legacy of mankind. To grow, procreate and yes, to love yet again. Afterall, the world revolves around love,right?

So what is Love, actually?

I ever wondered during my young age, why is love – the one thing that’s said to have the cure for all pain end up CAUSING such a pain in the first place? Has ‘love’ lost its healing touch over the years? It surely MUST be the case, coz love is all I did but pain is all I was returned with.

Ya I know – drama drama drama! It seem so dramatic now – must be the effect of watching too many mushy stories I tell ya ;) – but when I was experiencing it, it was all that I felt. Nothing else-just profound pain.

I was too focused on the loss of mine that I was completely ignorant to the fact that there were many many MANY caring hearts around me who was offering love in my direction; hoping I’ll grab it all and regain my ‘sight’ once again.

What makes me to not ‘see/accept’ the care those people were showing me? They were showing their love for me too,but somehow its not the kind I wanted – not from the one I wanted! Doesn’t this mean that love is all about how I perceive the emotion of affection given to me? It’s all in my head! Literally! 

So I began to realize one thing – that love still has it’s touch afterall ;)

Well, yes, but no, my realization was deeper than that. I realize that I hurt not because I lost the person I gave that love to – but because the love I gave was not returned in the same way I had expected or hoped it would be. In short –things didn’t go the way “I” want.

So what did I want? It’s the same as any of you who have had an object of desire that you love. You want it to be your OWN; for you to have your ownership claim on it; for it/them to alwaysbe at your arms length. Right? I did the same mistake.

I was elated when I had seemingly gotten what I had expected for a brief period but I couldn’t face the fact when it comes to the time I had to give it away. That object could still be in the same shape and form when I first saw it – but what had changed now is MY emotional attachment to it. It was the whole chemical triggers within my body that gave me that attraction in the first place! Ugh.

Anyway, the good news is, while I can’t control my object of love, from being stolen, or broken ( or have a change of heart); I CAN control how I react about it. 

I know its easier said than done. What I am trying to say is we make the mistake of putting someone high up on a pedestal – that we hurt even trying to reach out for them. Somehow, we give a ‘god-like’ status to the person/object we love. We wrap all our happiness around them. We make them our world. The whole ‘you are my world’ sweet nothings are just that, nothings! It’s simply too much a burden for one person to carry. Besides, why must you give someone else the right to make you happy?  What’s the use of love that instead of making you feel carefree end-up leaving you at the mercy of others?

“Too much of anything can make you sick”  - Love too can end up as a curse, if you placed it on a right person the ‘wrong’ way , let alone to the wrong person in a ‘right’ way.

So if you are the kind to keep thinking WHY must you go through the pain in the name of love, I ask you to do this.

Let go.

Yes, let go of any and I repeat ANY expectations that anything or anyone other than Almighty God can bring you constant happiness. Momentary bliss yes you may obtain but if you want something eternal then love The Eternal Allah alone.

Just pure logic you see, If humans are mortals, how can you, even for a second, let yourself believe that their love would be immortal? Please, stay away from being a character in a romantic fairy-tales okay? Step back into reality. Here,take my hand J

There’s nothing wrong in wanting companionship, loving someone to spend your lifetime with. Love is sacred. However, be very cautious not to rely on your love to safeguard your heart. Set your priorities right. Love in the name of Allah, and remind yourself that :'Surely we belong to Allah and to Him shall we return'

The only constant thing in life is change. And Humans, change. I hope you would choose to as well.

May you scintillate!

"Allah has promised to believers - men and women - Gardens under which rivers flow, to dwell therein [forever], and beautiful mansions in Gardens of everlasting bliss. But the greatest bliss is the Good Pleasure of Allah. That is the supreme felicity [or success]". (9:72)