A tribute to 'Chris Medina's'

May Peace Be With You

A month ago the name Chris Medina may have meant very little or nothing to us. But ever since the talented 26 yr old sprung into American Idol Audition in Milwaukee, bringing along his love story for his high school sweetheart whom he was to marry but end up brain-dead after an accident story, he has touched MANY of us; making his 1st 'debut' in international arena. People who watch AI , now talks about Chris Medina & Juliana Ramos, his lucky g/f more so than the other contestants,I'm sure.

To be honest, he was not the first guy I have heard doing similar things in the name of love, taking care of their paralysed g/f. There was this guy in India whose story was shared in FB links a while back too, buy I couldn't recall the name. Alas, the thing that touches our heart is, how people still uphold love. How MEN upholds love, I must say ( sorry, this is a talk from a girls point of view -I can't help being biased at times ;)

I am a big sucker for love, as is any girls,I'm sure - afterall , we were brought up with fairy tales of 'Prince Charming's and 'Knights in Shining Armours' etc that we almost always grow up devoting ourselves to the 1st guy who brings up that love in us instantly! But as how life would have fated for us, reality differs than that of the lovely princesses.

We would have had our heart -or worst, Trust- broken by a guy at some point. Especially if you are among the statistics who were involved in a romantic relationship at a very young age. You know, the kind they say monkey love? (Btw, you know why its called Monkey love right? - cos our infatuations (tho you'll call it true love) changes, transfers to someone else within short period of time. Yup-I know, it's more so for the guys ;)
What? I'm just sayin :)

Anyways,
So if you had a relationship at a young age (its subjective to define how young is young-but lets just stick to the time when the hormone goes bezerk - ie our teens aite?), chances are you are probably with someone else right now than the guy who you had crush on initially -who by now is 'un-fondly' remembered as someone who crushed your heart. Ironic kan? The one you have crush on crushes you?

You see,people are in exploratory mode during such a age. Everything seems new and exciting and beautiful when love comes. And the exact opposite when love chose to leave. The couple may have parted for many reasons, some might have to sacrifice for the sake of family ; some due to distance, some due to third party and some simply because the other party we were involved with were just tricking us into believing they cared. But the fact is, our feelings have lost its source for existence. It hurts really really bad, I know.

Only a small percentage of people are lucky enough to be in a relationship for life. Or to be with the same guy they had first dated until death do them part. Much like the story of our Chris Medina.
Men like Chris Medina show us how it should be if love is genuine. When you love someone, you just love them for everything that they are or they would become in future. You don't love someone while they are healthy, or pretty or wealthy and leave the next second that they lose all or part of that trait. You must stay devoted to them through thick and thin, till death do you part - perhaps...and then some.

It's always easy to give up and walk away. It's always easier to throw away things citing difficulties, necessities -biological need; or even giving in to temptations. The real challenge is to stay put, to hold on, to defy all obstacles with love as your armour. If you withstand all that, than you would leave on a legacy of your own - to many people (like me) who could be on the verge of giving up on love.

So I am just gonna dedicate this entry to all such men and women out there, who despite facing the many forms of life's challenges, still manage to keep your loyalty and love to the person who have trusted you with theirs.

To all 'Chris Medina's' out there - hats off to you.

"He whose heart is alive with love does not die;
Rather his imprint lasts forever,recorded in the annals of history"

Chris Medina

Evolve,Change & Adapt

Life is always about adapting. No one can ever be who you want them to be or treat you the way you want to be treated. It's all on you to adapt to their style and accept that in whatever way they show you care (or lack of it), that's their right. That's their choice. We can't force or make them do what we want them to do. Even if you did, there's no sincerity in it. It will not last long. People gotta do things on their own. With their own mind. Not coerced or compelled.

You decide if you want to put up with it (if its worth the patience) or walk away so you and them both find better life and/or life partner. Simple as that.But the difficult part is in executing. It ain't that easy. Especially when you are emotionally attached to them. You want so bad for them to understand you. You dont want to let go. Desperately seeking ways to make them understand. You know what? I did the same mistake too. Not realizing that while I have some changes I expect in them, they too expect some changes in me. I didn't realize I was holding on to love and not let go, for fear of being alone,fearing the pain seeing my loved ones with someone else. No matter how noble your intention is, you need to step back and ask if you are thiking of more of an "I wish you would be this way" as opposed to "what can we both do to make it better". Use a 'we' thinking as opposed to an "I".

Find a point to compromise. There are things which can't be done overnight. Accept that in time it might go away. What can or can't you tolerate? Identify those and discuss about it. The key here is both party have to agree in wanting to save the relationship. If there's ego, if there's selfishness and need to dominate, then the relationship is doomed to faill.

And another painful truth is that you need to know when to let go. I suck big time at this. I am clingy, always thinking that my love is real and true (which it is) but the fact is, I never realize the pain I am causing to the one I claim I love by forcing them to stay. It is in their best interest that I let them go.

Sometimes when I arrive at the point where I let go, I have seen the love coming back to me. Its true when some say 'If you let go of love and it come finds you again, than its yours to begin with' . This is not to say that the same love will not want to be let go again. Its a cycle. Life is about changes and adapting. As we go along, facing challenges in life, we evolve, we change, we adapt. And people's feeling changes too. We need to respect that, as painful as it is. We just have no choice. Life, marriage, relationship is not abt you alone. It involves others. You can't fight the battle alone if the other person walks out. Accept defeat because in that defeat lies your victory ahead. You just got to trust that time would bring you the answer.

If life is as easy as getting everything we want, we will never learn the meaning of appreciation, gratitude and wisdom. In order to gain something, we need to lose something. Sometimes the price of losing something is way too costly for us to handle/bear but such is life. All the obstacles moulds us into a mature human being, better than when we started. As the saying goes ' Obstacles will not leave you the way it found you'.

May we all get the wisdom and strength to adapt,evolve and let go.









(original post on:22nd Oct 2009)

So what is Love, actually?

I begin this entry by sharing a quote that sum up both the pain and joys of life.

“The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.”
~John Vance Cheney

Isn’t it true, that there won’t be a meaning to happiness without experiencing heartache of some-sort? And likewise, a wounded heart would have nothing to look forward for without hope that no matter how bad a situation is that it would change, in a matter of time. Oh how dull life would be if you had lost such a faith!

Let’s face it, who haven’t been hurt? Everyone has, one or way or another, I’m sure. The degree of the pain however, may differ depending on graveness of the event one has to face. But who are we to judge? A thing that appear trivial to you could be the most important aspect in someone’s life. To each,their own.

And the irony of all these pandemic of pain is that it’s somehow connected to ‘Love’. From failing to get an object of love and desire, to losing that object to eternal loss or betrayal gnaw one’s soul so much that it blinds them (some momentarily, while others permanently) from seeing the future, from seeing any ray of hope in surviving it. Somehow, it would seem like the sky had crushed onto us.; that the world has ended and everything around us has vanished and we are left alone, wandering blindfolded, frantically searching for something solid to hold onto; something that would make us feel safe again, feel protected. Ever felt like that before?  Yea, I figured you would have.

The fact is, a part of us may have died when we get trials in life, but look at us? We are very much alive to continue on the legacy of mankind. To grow, procreate and yes, to love yet again. Afterall, the world revolves around love,right?

So what is Love, actually?

I ever wondered during my young age, why is love – the one thing that’s said to have the cure for all pain end up CAUSING such a pain in the first place? Has ‘love’ lost its healing touch over the years? It surely MUST be the case, coz love is all I did but pain is all I was returned with.

Ya I know – drama drama drama! It seem so dramatic now – must be the effect of watching too many mushy stories I tell ya ;) – but when I was experiencing it, it was all that I felt. Nothing else-just profound pain.

I was too focused on the loss of mine that I was completely ignorant to the fact that there were many many MANY caring hearts around me who was offering love in my direction; hoping I’ll grab it all and regain my ‘sight’ once again.

What makes me to not ‘see/accept’ the care those people were showing me? They were showing their love for me too,but somehow its not the kind I wanted – not from the one I wanted! Doesn’t this mean that love is all about how I perceive the emotion of affection given to me? It’s all in my head! Literally! 

So I began to realize one thing – that love still has it’s touch afterall ;)

Well, yes, but no, my realization was deeper than that. I realize that I hurt not because I lost the person I gave that love to – but because the love I gave was not returned in the same way I had expected or hoped it would be. In short –things didn’t go the way “I” want.

So what did I want? It’s the same as any of you who have had an object of desire that you love. You want it to be your OWN; for you to have your ownership claim on it; for it/them to alwaysbe at your arms length. Right? I did the same mistake.

I was elated when I had seemingly gotten what I had expected for a brief period but I couldn’t face the fact when it comes to the time I had to give it away. That object could still be in the same shape and form when I first saw it – but what had changed now is MY emotional attachment to it. It was the whole chemical triggers within my body that gave me that attraction in the first place! Ugh.

Anyway, the good news is, while I can’t control my object of love, from being stolen, or broken ( or have a change of heart); I CAN control how I react about it. 

I know its easier said than done. What I am trying to say is we make the mistake of putting someone high up on a pedestal – that we hurt even trying to reach out for them. Somehow, we give a ‘god-like’ status to the person/object we love. We wrap all our happiness around them. We make them our world. The whole ‘you are my world’ sweet nothings are just that, nothings! It’s simply too much a burden for one person to carry. Besides, why must you give someone else the right to make you happy?  What’s the use of love that instead of making you feel carefree end-up leaving you at the mercy of others?

“Too much of anything can make you sick”  - Love too can end up as a curse, if you placed it on a right person the ‘wrong’ way , let alone to the wrong person in a ‘right’ way.

So if you are the kind to keep thinking WHY must you go through the pain in the name of love, I ask you to do this.

Let go.

Yes, let go of any and I repeat ANY expectations that anything or anyone other than Almighty God can bring you constant happiness. Momentary bliss yes you may obtain but if you want something eternal then love The Eternal Allah alone.

Just pure logic you see, If humans are mortals, how can you, even for a second, let yourself believe that their love would be immortal? Please, stay away from being a character in a romantic fairy-tales okay? Step back into reality. Here,take my hand J

There’s nothing wrong in wanting companionship, loving someone to spend your lifetime with. Love is sacred. However, be very cautious not to rely on your love to safeguard your heart. Set your priorities right. Love in the name of Allah, and remind yourself that :'Surely we belong to Allah and to Him shall we return'

The only constant thing in life is change. And Humans, change. I hope you would choose to as well.

May you scintillate!

"Allah has promised to believers - men and women - Gardens under which rivers flow, to dwell therein [forever], and beautiful mansions in Gardens of everlasting bliss. But the greatest bliss is the Good Pleasure of Allah. That is the supreme felicity [or success]". (9:72)

The Birth of 'An Ocean Drop' - 11.1.11

May Peace Be With You.

Join me in welcoming Scintillate to the world of Blogging! *_*  Yea, I know I am a tad late in gettn this whole blogger thing started, but better late than never ey?

Why now, you wonder? Prolly not but I'll tell anyway *<>* hehe.
You see, today is 11.1.11. There was such a hype going on in Facebook and everywhere else I turn to about this date that people are either busy preparing a wedding, a proposal,a birth (not sure ifyou can actually plan that..but you know what I mean) etc...so I thought,I wanna add my initials in the craze too , and voila 'An Ocean Drop' was born!

Oh,about 'Scintillate', well clearly it's not my name ;but it is one of the most beautiful word in English,carrying the meaning  'To emit sparks, or fine igneous particles' to it - you know the kind that has shiny sparkly glowy and all the good stuff attached to it? I dont know, it sorta gave a really happy,magical vibe to me and I figured it would be nice to begin my blogging with something positive :).Knowing me better than anyone else, I am pretty sure the ensuing entries would tag gloominess to it sooner or later. So,cheers for a good start =) !

I hope to be dedicated enough to pen down my souls silent whisper in here and to anyone who even bothered to read this far I humbly thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Wishing you a compassionate heart, loving atmosphere and peaceful mind.

May you Scintillate :)